Thursday 12 June 2008

Nightmares

For a long time now, I've been having nightmares on and off. Normally when I have nightmares, I wake up instead of going back to sleep. But last night, I kept telling myself. Sleep. Next dream will be better but its not. I woke up 4 times in total and gave up trying to sleep.

In the dream, I was someone else. Always I'm a stranger and the people around me are strangers, people I don't see in real life. I vaguely remember them now.

In one dream, my sister (stranger) shot me many times with a gun. I didn't die cos I was shot in the hand. She didn't want me to die, just wanted me to be in pain which is why she shot my arm, my hand.

Then I was running to a restaurant with 2 other girl friends when I was knocked down by a car? Don't remember..

Dream changed. I'm a little girl again (stranger too) and I was crouching by a corner. A guy was coming to me, he was going to rape me. Then I ran to my dad for help. My dad was also a stranger. Someone I've never seen before. My dad-stranger started stroking himself. He was going to rape me himself..

I woke up gasping for breath. Trying to control my heart beat and I just want to forget..

Do I have a really imaginative mind or is something wrong with me? Why do I dream of these things?

*sigh*

Unfortunately for me, I think I know exactly why I'm having nightmares night after night.

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