Friday, 28 March 2014

Obsession with L'occitane products

I feel like talking about my skin care products now. A bit bored. OK make that very bored now. Nothing to do and nobody to stalk on FB. 

I was reading through Jerrine Lay's blog about the Estee Lauder advanced night repair serum she loves. 

This one. Honestly I was very curious about this product. I couldn't decide for the longest time whether to get this or to get the L'occitane Immortelle brightening essence.

After reading lots of reviews online on both products, I decided to buy the L'occitane one first. I loved it. Just finished my first bottle btw.

Its cheaper to buy in airports (duh) duty free. At Spring, its just too pricey. So I always wait till I go overseas to stock up.

The other day, I decided to try Estee Lauder's advanced night repair- bought a small bottle to try. Cos I was curious but skeptical. Also cos I'm kinda in love with L'occitane so I didn't want to end up with two big bottles of serum. 

Result: I didn't like the smell of Estee Lauder's serum - too chemical-y for my liking. The moment I put it on, I made a face. Don't like it. Ehh this was pre-pregnancy ok. None of my pregnancy fussiness. Tried to use it faithfully for a week to see results. I felt nothing different.

Could be 1) I need to use it longer (but those reviews kept saying they felt a difference in 3 to 5 days blablabla) or 2) my skin is already awesome (bahahha). Kidding la please. I'm already heading towards the big 3-0 and I'm scared as fuck that I'll have wrinkles, saggy skin, spots and so on and so forth. 

I'm scared because although I practice good skin care routines and put on my mask quite often, and go for facials, I drink alcohol (my downfall). Quite a lot I think when comparing among my peers. I drink a lot of plain water every day and eat fruit and vegetables but the bad part of my diet was alcohol. Not anymore obviously. 4 months sober.

That's why I'm so hardworking putting on my toner (I'm using Hada Labo's Super Hyaluronic Acid), serum and moisturizer every day morning and night.

Another product I love is L'occitane's face scrub. Actually I have an unhealthy obsession with L'occitane products. I have used the face wash, scrub and mask. I love them all. I can feel the difference after using them. Unlike the over the counter products like Biore or L'oreal, I feel no difference even after using them for years.

This is the facial scrub I was talking about. This is from the website: This Brightening Instant Exfoliator exfoliates the skin, for an even-toned and luminous complexion

For me, I felt that my skin looked brighter, fairer and clearer. But then I feel that way when using the cleansing foam below too. Just that maybe with the exfoliator, it was more obvious?

The moisture mask I was talking about. Just apply onto clean face and no need to rinse off after use. Wipe off excess if necessary. I normally use it as a night mask after my shower. I use this about 2 to 3 times a week (if I'm hardworking).

The cleansing foam. Love this too. From the website: A gentle cleanser that transforms into a rich foam for clean, refreshed skin. 

Finished my first bottle and reluctant to buy a new one cos its so pricey. I kept the bottle in case Cs suddenly decides to buy me a replacement and can look at it for reference. Hahah. Shameless, yes I am.

OK took these two pictures today at the office. 

I started with the precious night cream first then slowly converted one by one. For now, I stopped using the precious night cream cos I think its too rich for my pregnant hormones. I still have the occasional outbreak of small pimples. But things seem better now that I'm in my second trimester (fingers crossed and touch wood please).

I'm actually quite afraid to set foot in any L'occitane stores now in case I get sucked into buying more products. This is bad. 

Friday lunches are cheat days - normally maggi mee in a cup or Mcd. I figured I'm less guilty if I have fillet-o-fish. Fish is semi healthy right? Even my co-workers are commenting on my maggi mee (again?!) haih and pointing out this could be the reason my hair is falling. Jeez. Men are direct! 

I'm dreading the day when they suddenly point out: eh you're gaining weight! This is why I keep feeling like I should announce my pregnancy on FB. But it feels kinda personal too and I'm afraid the day I do that, I'll definitely get all kinds of stares at my belly all the time.

OK continue next time. Bye.

Going to watch Captain America tonight. Hope its good!

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Team Pink!

We found out that we're having a girl!! Yay to all the pink cuteness.

Its so ironic though. I used to hate it when mum dressed me up in ruffles dresses (its so itchy!) with my hair in two (or three) high ponytail plaits. And now I'm planning on doing exactly this to my daughter. Should I?

I only hated it when I was old enough to know better like 5? So I guess I have the first few years to dress my daughter up in all the pink cuteness till I can sense that she hates it as well.

Unless my daughter takes after Cs, and is easy to please, then ok la. Please future daughter, take after Cs' personality. Please take from daddy his kindness, his patience, his sense of humor and his ability to make people laugh. Don't take mummy's stubbornness or hot temper. Or our absent mindedness. Gawd noo.

Though I'm aware that this sounds bad (vain), please take after my looks too cos Cs and I agreed that I am the better looking of us two. Hahahah. 

Baby's first photo. 

I like this one much better than the 4-D photo. This one is much clearer. In the other images, she's busy playing hide and seek with us. Sitting up, jumping around, changing positions, and opening her legs half way (being coy - so we had a harder time seeing its its a he or a she).

But its confirmed now. Definitely a she. On our last scan, doc said 85% girl, but I wanted to be sure so I didn't mention to anyone.

If you can't tell, Cs and I are both ecstatic! Thank you God.

Monday, 24 March 2014

Baby bump pics

Sorry! More pregnancy talk. I had to keep things quiet to myself for a few months..not easy ok. Pretending to be fine (no, I'm not sick again..just dizzy. Must have ate something wrong again - all lies), sucking in my tummy (hahah) trying to avoid wearing tight fitting tops or cropped tops. I wear baggy clothing all the time now. Frumpy is my new look.

Sucking in tummy part definitely doesn't work anymore. I have gained 2 kg btw. Apparently in line with my pregnancy so far, which is good news. In the beginning, when I didn't gain any weight, I was ecstatic! Yes!! Beat the odds.

Then, as time went by, I grew a little worried. Ehh when is my weight going to increase? Where is all the food going? Is something wrong with me? Maybe dad is right after all - am I really eating too little?? What if Kevin is right - I'm starving the baby?!

Then suddenly last week, the scale went up 2 kg. No warning at all. Ok fine. All is well.. Baby is growing fine. 

Actually not much difference 13 weeks or 16 weeks right? Feel like it could be just gas or constipation. Jeez. 

I'm so impatient. I wanna skip straight to 38 weeks please. Let me give birth already. Choi, I know. Touch wood. Better pray everything is fine. OK slap my mouth while I'm at it. 

But then actually time flies. Its been 16 weeks already? Or 4 months for those lazy to count. Kinda surprised myself. I don't like it when everything is in weeks either but everyone (doctors, nurses and articles) all seem to refer to the cycle in weeks so its just easier for me. 

I went to search through pregnant women photos on Instagram using the #16weeks to find out how big other people's bellies are in comparison to mine. Some are really big already! I plan to ask the doctor this Thursday if my baby is growing normally (in size) or not. Hate to say this but dad and Kev criticizing on my food intake isn't really good for my mental state right now. Sometimes during dinner I force myself to eat even though I don't want to and feel sick later on. =.=

Ahh moving on. As of now, my morning sickness is almost all gone. Thank God. My appetite is increasing. I think of food all the time. Deciding whether or not to book Osome pizza this Friday heheh. 

My neck and shoulders aches every single day now though. Boo. It used to ache too cos of my work sitting in front of the computer 8 hours a day (so unhealthy). But these days its much, much worse. My back is starting to ache more and more frequently also. These pains I'm very worried about cos no doubt it'll only get WORSE the later in pregnancy. Dammit. How ah. My only solution now is going for massages. The few masseuses at our regular massage place know I'm pregnant already cos my stomach and boobs got bigger. Now that I look bigger, I shy laa.

That day while carrying little fatty, I commented on how she seems to get heavier every day. Cs: no ler. She feels the same to me.. Only then I realized. Ohh shit..its me. I can't carry her for long periods anymore. That fatty is taking a toll on my back. Hahaha. 

Said fatty has her eyes closed here but she's still so cute!

OK. I don't know what else to update anymore actually. Post a vain photo and call it a day!

I hardly put on make up or dress up at all these days. I salute Cheesie - how she can manage to look so good everyday at 27 weeks?!! I bet mum is criticizing me behind my back too. How? Most days I still want to collapse after 5. Especially Friday's. I'm starting to salute working mum's already now. How do they have time to cook dinner, bathe their children, and clean the house while going to work in the day time?

Cs' next door neighbor apparently wakes up at 5+ am every morning to cook breakfast and lunch for her family. Then after work, pick up children and come home to cook dinner some more. Spoil market woman! Howw???

Maybe if I continue working after giving birth I can afford a part time maid eh - so the clean house part is taken care of. Since both of us are working, we need to send the baby to baby sitter's so I just need to take care of the after 5pm part. Plus dinner. Not as bad in comparison.

Ok enough. Stressing me out. I'll worry about it when the time comes.


Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Baby talk

Last night, I think I felt the baby's first kick. Could be second or third for all I know. Those websites keep describing them as flutters, or a swiping from inside. I caught myself wondering a couple times before if this was it? Oww..what was that? Oh wait was that a kick? Then telling myself no lah. Can't be. Must be gas. Or round ligament pain or something else.

So what happened last night was me feeling hungry again by 12 am. Why baby why? I already brushed my teeth, gargled my listerine and am all snuggled in my blankets listening to the rain outside. Aaahh..time to sleep. And my stomach starts growling, my gastric feels a bit painful. Shit! If I don't eat now, no way I can fall asleep. 

So I finished a packet of biscuits. I keep a lot of handy snacks in my room now. So unlike me. Brushed teeth again and snuggled on bed again.

Put one hand on my tummy and asked: are you happy now? Go sleep please.

And I felt a nudge on my tummy right where my hand had been. 

Don't know why but I wasn't that surprised, shocked, or touched (worst mother ever). I just mused out loud: hmmm was that a kick? That was you right?

Cs: whaaaatttt????? He/she kicked you? Really? Do it again!!

So I guided his hand on my tummy and spoke to him/her again: daddy wants to feel it too. Try kicking again. And voila. Another kick on his hand. 

This kid quite obedient ah. Cs almost started tearing up (maybe I shouldn't put this here), and talking to the baby again. The usual stuff: baby guai oh.. go sleep now. Daddy loves you etc etc.

I keep telling him to say something more interesting instead of repeating what he says every night. Such as reporting about what we did that day, where we went, what tv we're watching, or badminton since he likes it so much. Hahah but he's like baby won't understand that yet la. 

Actually despite what I said above, till now, I'm wondering: was that really a kick? It definitely felt different from other pains. This doesn't hurt cos he/she is still so small. But it definitely felt like movement that is not gas or what I felt before. Only logical conclusion was the baby. 

Our next scan is next week. Can't wait to find out the gender. Some couples can wait till 9 months, till giving birth to find out the gender. Not me. I wanna start buying pink stuff already if its a girl. Hahah.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Trying to be healthy

I still try to work out a few times a week. These days its mostly 2 or 3 times a week only. About 1 hour sessions. 

Some days I can get through 1 hour easily and continue on some more. Some days, I'm panting really hard. My heart beats faster, I'm short of breath and I just feel my body overheating. So I stop and walk slowly. I rest a few minutes. Continue exercising. Short of breath again. Turn up the fan speed and rest awhile. But all this makes 1 hour pass by really slowly.

Just now, after work, I came home and did my usual remove makeup, change to workout clothes, brush teeth, wash face, wash up lunch things, do some little chores, and go over for dinner at my parents place. Dinner tonight was roti canai (the frozen ones) with lamb and vegetable curry (dunno why there are two types), fish, and vege. I had one roti canai to myself. It was yum!

After dinner, I went to open up youtube and found some pregnancy workout videos. Tried to follow the exercises for about 15 mins. Gave up cos I was panting and I didn't like the routines. So I went to my treadmill for about 35 mins. Went back home, climbed up the stairs, opened my room door and collapsed on the chair. Hand clutching my heart, and panting like hell. What the hell? Ok I know exactly why la. 

I'm afraid to tell Cs when something like this happens lest I get lectured. OK I'm afraid to post this lest I get lectured too. Sheesh. 

My body really isn't my own. I'm so NOT used to this part.

I'm not used to a lot of things now but this definitely makes the top 10 list. 

I badly want to exercise to be healthy, but my body is making it hard for me now. I want to go swimming more often cos its supposedly good exercise for pregnant women. Now I miss the pool.

We have a KL trip next month and I was asking Cs is it possible to book a hotel with a pool just so his crazy pregnant wife can get some exercise in. Hahah. But cannot la cos we have our days planned out already.

I miss my hula hoop and my skipping rope. I miss dancing most of all. Sometimes when I'm lazy to go on the treadmill, I would put on some music and dance around in my undies and bra. Can easily work up a sweat in 15 mins. Its still some form of exercise. I miss. 

Cannot jump around, cannot move my  stomach or hips cos I have stomach pains/cramps quite frequently but apparently these are all normal. Yawn old news. So yea. I can only miss. 

I'm going to Google for more pregnancy workout now. 

OK bye.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Turning green

Not the green you're thinking. Heheh.

(Wrote this post a while back but only posting now. Cos its a good reminder for myself.)

Talking to le cousin just now.. 

She’s going to Japan in April, and London and Paris in May. She asked me for advice for both places.

Gawd I’m turning green in envy as I’m giving out suggestions on where to stay and how much money to bring.

In just that short while, I felt transported. Alive even. Away from here. But I’m back here now.

Consoling myself that I’m younger but I have traveled to those places already. I’m already more fortunate than a lot of people. 

I’m pregnant – it’s a blessing. Our home will be completed this year. Both of these are going to take up huge amounts of time and money over the next few years.

When I’m older and more well off, then I can travel again.

For now, count your blessings mi. Writing this actually worked. I’m already blessed. Thank you God.

I already have everything I need. Everything else are extras.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Kinkakuji (Golden Pavilion), Kyoto

If you Google places to go in Kyoto, most likely you'll see this place. Kinkakuji (金閣寺, Golden Pavilion), a Zen temple in northern Kyoto whose top two floors are completely covered in gold leaf. Hence the name.

We took the bus from our hotel. No need to change..just straight to the entrance, which was very convenient.

Kinkakuji can be accessed from Kyoto Station by direct Kyoto City Bus number 101 or 205 in about 40 minutes and for 220 yen. Alternatively, it can be faster and more reliable to take the Karasuma Subway Line to Kitaoji Station (15 minutes, 250 yen) and take a taxi (10 minutes, around 900 yen) or bus (10 minutes, 220 yen, bus numbers 101, 102, 204 or 205) from there to Kinkakuji.

Nahh copied the information from Japan Guide for you. 

Selfie on the bus!

And we arrived! Beautiful autumn colors still. We were lucky to be able to see them and take photos. 

Admission price was Y400/RM 12 per person. Still ok. Definitely worth a trip.

That's the entrance ticket. 

Because I SPK never seen a Haagen Daz vending machine. Heheh. Didn't buy. We bought another green tea ice cream cone instead. 

There were tourists all around (as usual) so squeeze in and take your shot. This shot turned out not bad eh?

Saw some people throwing coins here and decided to join in as well. Hehe..dunno if we're supposed to make wish or what. 

There are quite a few stalls selling souvenirs. We bought some snacks..the wasabi nuts were soo spicy. Damn syiok! Dad loves them. I love them too but baby doesn't. Haih.

Overall, I would say this is definitely worth a trip. So beautiful and serene. Simply point your camera anywhere and can get good photos.

There's a silver pavilion (Ginkakuji) as well but we didn't go to that one as I didn't want to cram too many temples in my visit. After this, we went to Fushimi Inari. Always wanted to visit. Did you watch Memoirs of a Geisha? The scene where little Sayuri (or Chiyo as she was known then) went to make a wish at the temple after Chairman gave her the coin? Yah that temple. Update next time. 

Monday, 3 March 2014

Expecting a baby!

Yes, I have crossed over to the other side. I kid. Heheh.

I have been keeping a diary (sort of) since I found out and here are some of the entries. I didn't want to announce till after 3 months  - and this is only on my blog, where I know full well that not many people read. Especially people who know me in real life. :) With other people, eh, maybe I'll just bring him/her out and introduce: nah this is my son/daughter AFTER I lost all pregnancy weight. Haha.

Its more or less sunk in now. Pregnancy. I'm growing a tiny human. My body is no longer my own. Wow.

Its been an interesting past few months. Let me start at the beginning. Cs and I have been talking about trying to get pregnant for a while now but at the same time we are still booking air tickets to go to Japan. So at the same time, we wanted to try to have a baby but didn't want to waste air tickets. So not counted la. I guess we only properly tried after we came back from Japan.

For about 2 weeks we went for it. And that's it. Period didn't come that month wtf. Why so easy one? I guess its good news cos this means both our equipment are working fine. Hahah.

I suspected I was pregnant before I took the test actually because of sore boobs. Not just sore, my nipple was tingling. Urgh not fun. It was so painful. Never before like this before period. My period was normally quite on time but I decided to take a Watson's test kit about 2 days before it came cos I suspected I might be pregnant and I was fed up with waiting. Sore boobs remember? Negative. One line. 

Because I'm so impatient, I couldn't wait. On the day my period was due, I took a pregnancy test again. This time, I used Clearblue. I was fully expecting a Not Pregnant again. I peed on the thing and went to brush my teeth. Cs was in the bathroom with me and we were still kidding around like usual. When we turned over to check the stick, both of us went silent. I sort of yelped: OMG!!!! He just stared at the stick unmoving.

Despite suspecting that I was pregnant, seeing the proof was still a huge shock ok. Both of us just stared at the stick unmoving. Then, he gave a huge smile and hugged me a long time. 

It was a working day still but I was in shock the whole day. Couldn't make my mind focus on anything. Couldn't concentrate. 

Ever since I found out, I've been reading up a storm trying to absorb as much information as I can. There's so much to learn..and so many new terms. And so many changes to my body. More on this later.

A week later, I took another test. You know, just in case that test was faulty. Very chun ok. Not faulty at all.

So that's how we found out. Doctor confirmed it and voila the waiting game begins. 

26 Dec 2013

I slept before 12. I must be only 4 -5 weeks only but I'm sleeping like a pig already. Tired so often. My day looks like this: wake up at 10 am. Eat, hang out with Cs. 2 pm - sleepy. Fight sleep. Finally sleep at 3 - 6 pm. Wake up. Eat, hang out. 10 pm - I'm so sleepy. Cs was like: is this how we are going to spend the next 9 months? In bed? Hahahha. I want him close to me, and he wants to hug me while I sleep. So, more often than not, he falls asleep with me. Just yesterday he told me: I have never slept this much before. Heheh.

Its 1:30 pm in the office and I'm trying not to nod off now. Damn.

Just realized I chose a perfect time to fall pregnant. The end of the year season where the normal me would be partying, drinking and out having fun. I foresee more questions tomorrow night - the big family gathering: why aren't you drinking Amy? Gotta think of some lie. And NYE is just next week - gotta think of another lie. Never knew lying would be so stressful.

In case you're wondering why I don't tell anyone yet besides my own family - its because I plan to only mention when I absolutely have to after 3 months - when the risk of miscarriage is lower.


Morning sickness? For me, its the hunger I can't stand. From the moment i open my eyes, or sometimes in the middle of the night, I can't fall asleep or wake up too hungry so I have to grab some biscuits from the bed side to munch with my eyes closed. Damn gross but no choice.

My baby is hungry. Seriously I have never eaten so much in my life ever! I now eat supper every night so I don't wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning with gastric pains. No fun. With gastric, comes the vomity feeling and dizziness. I learned the hard way that this is all brought on by hunger. As long as I stuff food into my mouth, my stomach and baby is happy.

Its especially bad if I eat something the baby doesn't like. Like beef noodles. I had a bowl of beef noodles for lunch one day. Finished the whole thing and immediately felt like throwing up in the bowl in the restaurant. Held it in but I could feel my face heating up, my nausea killing me, and so dizzy I couldn't walk straight. I had to go back to the office after that. Sat on the toilet bowl trying not to cry out and psyching my baby into accepting the food. Didn't work so I took mc the rest of the day. 

I have since found out quite a few things that baby doesn't like. This is not good cos I'm not very adventurous with my meals. I eat the same things most of the time just to be same. Not worth all the suffering.

What else? Cravings?

I don't really have any cravings beside cold and sweet food i.e. cola. Shit this is bad. I'm trying not to drink so much coke or eat too much chocolates. I don't like ice cream though. Weird. Had a magnum the other day. I liked it. Baby didn't. So again, all those nausea, dizzy and vomity feeling. 

I have quite a few food aversions. I used to love mum's mushroom soup, pumpkin soup, and whatever soup. I'll drink it. Now, I smell her mushroom soup and push it away from me. Don't like it.


On Christmas eve, I had to lie to everyone: I'm not feeling well, stomach ache, no, I don't have any plans.

Winnie knows me best: But its just not like you !! You have no plans? Really? Why? Let's go Havana then.

Dad called me at about 11 pm: where are you? Come to Rajang Bar.

Me: err..I'm at home. I'm not feeling well..

Dad: HAR??! Why?? 

Me: I have a bad stomach ache. I'm not going la. You guys enjoy.

The most frequently asked question so far is:

Do you miss drinking?

I don't blame people for thinking that way about me la. I'm such an alcoholic. I know that. But, honestly, no. I don't miss alcohol. It was way easier than I thought. I don't crave an ice cold beer. I want an ice cold coke. Hahha. In the beginning, it was a bit weird. Saturday night - hmmm..what to do besides drinking ah? Go to Spring? Then? Go home.

I miss my salmon sushi more. Sigh. This I really miss. I miss Japanese food!! I want!!! Grrr... I went to Sushi King once and had none of those raw food. Stuck to plain old cooked food. Turns out baby didn't like Sushi King food cos I felt bad immediately after. So this is not an option. Boo.


Tuesday: 31 Dec 2012

Cs is treating me like I'm as fragile as glass.

Don't exercise too long. Go sit down. I'll open the door. Don't kick your legs so hard. Don't walk so fast. 

The night before I had stomach ache/cramps. Quite bad and Cs rubbed the minyak kapak on my stomach.

The following morning in the office, I noticed I had some light spotting when I peed. I stared at the blood a while trying to get my head around it. I knew from babycenter that this was normal. I mentioned this
casually to Cs, who got worried immediately. Haih. Worry wart.

So we changed our appointment from Thursday to Tuesday 2 pm. When I mentioned that I was bleeding, the doc says its NOT normal! Couldn’t find anything during the ultrasound so she got me to empty my
bladder and go in through the vagina again. Found it finally! A tiny spot. Phew no worries then. Apparently everything is normal.

Friday 10 January 2014

My appetite has changed a bit. Not too much. I had a slice of cake and didn't really like it. The other day, I had one spoonful of broccoli and yuck no more. I love vegetables and cake okay! This is Cs’ genes
inside me making me hate healthy food. Is this how he feels like? Jeez.

I’m having more symptoms. I cannot be hungry at all. When hungry, everything strikes: dizziness, nausea, gastric. Bleh. No fun. So yes, I’m eating a lot. Very frequently – it seems that in the office I’m always
munching on something. Thank God I like almonds and raisins – healthy food. Love cereals too. I try to steer clear of potato chips and chocolate. Haven’t touched any yet – willpower still damn strong. Can’t say the same for Mcd though. Trying to cut down on biscuits. Maybe I should buy a lot of bananas to
put in the office. Think I’ll get a lot of stares. Hahah.

After work yesterday, I kept thinking of chicken nuggets. Cs lets me have everything I want. He used to spoil me before but now…he would move mountains to get me a bowl of ramen. I’m spoiled rotten. How can I not love him? This is the hormones talking. Not me.

Forgot to mention. This week, I noticed myself looking paler than usual. White face. I have always been fair but I think I look ghostly. Asked Cs and Winnie, both said no. Ahh anyway Cs went to buy some supplements and birds nest for me.


Did I mention I love my husband?

Wednesday 23 Jan 2014

No matter what I eat, a whole full meal or what, 2 hours later without fail, my stomach rumbles. If I don’t eat something, I get dizzy, gastric and nauseous. I have reached my limit!! At times, when I’m busy working
in the office, I go: FUCK U!!! Then immediately I apologize. Sorry baby. You’re just trying to grow. But mummy cannot eat so much la. Omg. What else to eat?!!!

Went to BMC in the evening for a check up. Yay baby has a heartbeat. Cs is soo happy. More so than me. I’m happy too la but mostly feeling weird: like wow there’s something in my belly. All this that I’m going through now is for him/her.

P/S: I feel like such a glutton in the office. Ehh eating every 2 hours ok!! Not announcing the pregnancy is hard. I feel like such a pig. Argh!

Thursday 23 January 2014

I’m afraid of stepping on the scale. Trying to cut down carbs. I need to buy more fruits to eat in the office to tide me over when the rumbling starts. My jeans are getting tight. Scaring me too. Argh.

Cs went: I buy you new jeans tomorrow ok?

Me: No! You can’t make me! I’m not going.

Cs:  Be reasonable baby. I buy nice, pretty ones for you.

Me: (walking out of the room) see how you make me. Hmph. I
won’t try it on.

Very unreasonable wife talking.

Postnote: as of today, I have succumbed. I do need bigger clothes now. Went shopping just today after work but found nothing. I need new skirts. My old ones are tight around the waist. I need to either pull it way down or way up. Either way looks hideous. So yea I need new ones. Normally after lunch, I'll have one hand tugging on my waistband to try to loosen them. Sigh not an option. I'll only get bigger. So yea, shopping time. Not looking forward to shifting through the L sizes though. :(

And yes, I'm vain. Sue me.

Monday March 3 2014. Today.

My nausea happens less and less. Dizziness still occurs but mostly when I'm hungry so I just stuff food into myself. I have not gained weight yet but the articles all say that most pregnant don't gain in the first 3 months so I guess I'm normal. Just let nature take its course for now.

Oh yea apparently pimples are one of those pregnancy symptoms too. I had an outbreak of pimples (this is still ongoing). Some big ones but mostly small ones on my face. Whenever I wash my face, I can feel all the bumps. Grr..hormones. 

The latest symptom as of today is headaches. Had two very bad headaches last week, and one last night. I mentioned on my Dayre already so no need to repeat. Moving on.

On the bright side, I have a lot of things and people to be thankful for:

1) My boobs are bigger now. So satisfying looking in the mirror. Hahaha Cs is very happy about this. Typical. I'm still a 34B but my bra is feeling snug. Can't wait to buy new bras! But unfortunately still sore as hell. Its so bad that at night when Cs pulls the blanket over to his side, I have to cover my boobs so it doesn't glide (is that the word?) over my tits. Get what I mean? Cannot stand to be touched at all! You know the feeling before period when your boobs hurt? Mine hurt 10x more now and every single day! 

2) Awesome parents and parents in-laws. Both my mum and his mum are cooking nutritious chicken soups for me. I know, I'm so lucky. My parents would cook me anything I want and dad always tapau breakfast on Sunday's for me now. But I suspect this is because they are afraid I'll eat maggi mee. Heheh. He calls me in the morning to ask what I want first and list out the food at the kopitiam. Lucky, I know.

 When we were in Taiwan, I had a lot of good and bad days. Urgh but his family were very understanding. His dad tapau-ed breakfast for us every morning! Soya bean milk for the pregnant woman and healthy sandwich or pau or anything for us. They wouldn't let me carry heavy stuff at all and let me have the best seats in the car etc.

3) Winnie did my nails for me  too cos I can't do my own nail polish anymore. Haih. Thanks yao. And sorry I'm so bitchy these days but its the hormones! Not abusing. Truth. Hahah.

This photo was taken on a bad day. I had a sandwich that morning with meat floss. Turns out baby don't like meat floss so I was already dizzy and nauseous. I was debating whether to go with them or stay in the hotel by myself. In the end, we went with his family to Jiufen, Shifen and where else? Forgot by now. I took my anti nausea pill in the car and slept so much. Black face the whole day but thank God his family didn't mind. =.=

4) Awesome friends. Shirley is being super supportive pouring all sorts of information to me. She just gave birth and is the best source of information now. I get to ask her how all the intimate questions I can't ask anyone else. Hahah. 

Oh yea, Nifer is pregnant too! She's one week ahead of me only! Is this fate or what?! Our three kids will be the same age this year!! Sooo excited. Only thing better than being pregnant is being pregnant at the same time as your best friends! We get to share information and talk among ourselves and we all get each other! I'm the noob cos Nifer already has a son. This is her second. In a way its good cos I get to ask all the questions. :)

5) Most of all, thank you God for Cs. Thank you, baby for your never ending patience with me. I get cranky, upset and throw tantrums very frequently these days (hormones!!) but he's just lets me have my way all the time. Headache? He'll massage my head, my neck, shoulders and back while he's at it. And not just when I have headaches. Anytime.

Sleepy? Come I hug you to sleep. Hungry? What do you want? I go tapau for you. I try not to take advantage of his kindness and patience and I always apologize afterwards. Sometimes immediately afterwards. I snap something bitchy at him and immediately I go: tui pu qi (I'm sorry). And cry! WTF. 

I definitely married the right guy. No one else can tolerate me at this time. Hahha. 

He even brought me to Damai to cheer me up. Yes, the Damai trip was for me. Not particularly cos it was Valentines. Heheh.

Oh yea, I took some progress pics for remembrance! 

 My waist is definitely thicker now and there's a permanent bulge on my lower abdomen. I don't know if its baby bump or just a result of eating so much. Hahah. If its any consolation, I'm surprised I didn't gain weight yet. Hmm..I guess baby really is absorbing everything. My food, my blood, my memories. Haha I'm starting to have memory loss. Baby brain.

I'm feeling extremely blessed and lucky to have people around me who care. At times though, I feel slightly overwhelmed and scared. Very scared. Like, what kind of parent would I be like? How do I teach him/her when I'm not a good person myself? 

My solution to every naughty kid seems to be to slap the hell out of him/her. Especially those outside. Hahha no la no la. Kidding. Its a good thing I'm living in Malaysia, not U.K. Hahha. My neighbors would be calling Social Services everyday.

But yeah. I'm scared and nervous. Don't know how to be a (gulp) mum. 

Wish me luck.

I'll be updating more often now that the secret is out of the bag. Actually some people already know but oh wells. This is for me. :)