There were so many things I was clueless about pregnancy and babies. Ever since I got knocked up, I have been reading articles online, buying new books to read up on, getting information from all sources (elders and peers with experience), and so on and so forth. I even watch breastfeeding videos on how to massage and express milk already.
I like reading and absorbing knowledge - this helps. I like being prepared and being in control. This helps too. I don't like being clueless for something as important as this. I especially don't like it when people say that phrase, “I never heard that before.”
You never heard that before simply because you don't know about it not that it doesn't exist. Jeez. Isn't this common knowledge? Just cos you never seen a million dollars doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You've never seen God, but you believe in Him. Well, I do anyway.
I'm encountering this more and more these days.
People pour advice to you. And that’s fine if you have experience and know what you’re talking about. But if you’re single and obviously confused, then shut up. I neither want nor need your advice/concern/comments.
Its like breastfeeding. I get so defensive these days! You must breastfeed Amy! Its good for the baby and good for you!!
I don’t know why you assumed that I wasn’t going to or that I didn’t know that. Or that you felt the need to tell me.
Don’t eat tuna. Don’t eat pineapple. Don’t eat raw eggs. Don’t dye your hair. Don’t go on airplanes. Don’t walk so fast. Don’t use foul language.
I don’t know la..these people. Did you ever consider that I might actually care about my own baby too?
Just today in response to me saying breastfeeding women are not allowed to have alcohol, the other person said: I never heard that before. Seriously?!
The reasoning behind why nursing mothers are not allowed alcohol is this: the alcohol will still be in your system and breastmilk and thus transferred to your baby. Her tiny body is not equipped to handle alcohol i.e. her liver is tiny and immature and not working as hard as yours is to flush out the alcohol. In addition, alcohol might make your baby drowsy but they sleep for shorter periods of time. Hence more trouble for you. Unless your logic is to use alcohol to knock out your baby for a period of time.
I know that it is hard in Kuching what with confinement ladies and moms trying to feed me kachang ma, ginger, wine etc. I will take it if its small amounts in my soup/food because alcohol will be diluted somewhat after cooking. But mostly, I’m planning to ward off every argument with: but doctor says... or nurses says…
I’m THE alcoholic ok. You think if someone offers me a drink, I don’t want it ah? I’m trying to be a good mom here ok.
If you want to drink, its ok actually. Wait at least 2 hours, if you didn’t drink much (e.g. one glass), then breastfeed your child. Basically, the more drinks you have, the longer it takes for the alcohol to clear your system, and the longer you have to wait to nurse your child.
There was one woman who confessed on The Breastfeeding Advocates Network that she got drunk one night and is it ok to still breastfeed? Man you should see the comments. One single comment reading: “if you’re breastfeeding why did you drink so much” got as much as 70+ likes. Likewise, all the other mothers are reprimanding her etc. Of course some stood up for her la..stuff like mothers need a break too these days. One or two drinks is fine..etc. Just pump and dump for 24 hours and then its back to normal already.
Maybe I look stupid or bimbotic eh. Or it could be because most times I keep quiet rather than argue back. I always think: what’s the point? If you’re not expecting, you won’t be interested or will argue back, when I KNOW that you’re wrong. And yet you think I’m wrong.
Maybe I should talk back? It all depends on how pissed off I am at that person.
Reminds me of a quote the other day: if you keep trying to blend in/be ordinary, you’ll never know how extraordinary you can be.
Haih. Back to topic.
My point is, if you don’t know what you’re talking about, shut up. I never give advice or ask people questions like: how long do you plan to breastfeed? Are you going back to work after? Can I touch your stomach? You gained weight!
So why am I getting these stupid questions? Plain curiosity maybe. But its annoying the hell out of me!
Xiaxue was right: Motherhood is really the biggest pissing contest.