I don't know if its just me or what. Maybe I never noticed it before but there are so many pregnant women in my group of friends. Or maybe acquaintances is more correct.
Even before I announced and after I announced, one by one pop up to message me that: hey I'm knocked up too! I'm 18 weeks too. I'm due this year too. I'm also having a girl too. Hahahha.
Its good news for all of us. But wow there are so many pregnant women. Guess we are all aging.
Its nice to have company.
I'm quite afraid that I'm not so much the mommy type. By that I don't mean I don't love her ok. Just that how come I didn't cry during the ultrasound, or upon hearing her heart beat or when I felt the kick?!
Why? What's wrong with me?
My mummy instincts had better kick in soon!
I read up on pregnancy and baby articles almost every day for the past few months. What to expect each week or month.When I'm not, I'm surveying which breast pump to buy, how to increase breast milk (I'm scared already), how to recognize baby cries, which diaper brands to buy, which bottles and brands to buy, sterilizer etc etc. I visit mummycare with Cs so often. I put my hand over my bump every night before I go to bed and try to talk to her. But I don't know what to say. Cs is no help - he says the same thing. Daddy loves you. Are you sleeping? Did you enjoy dinner just now?
And I didn't cry. My tear ducts have no problem acting up when I'm watching the Notebook btw. Or when Do Min Joon said saranghea Cheon Song Yi. Saranghea.
So I guess my tear ducts are waiting for the right moment. Maybe in labour. Maybe when I finally meet her.
This morning, I woke up to stomach pains.
I turned to Cs and said: I'm scared. If this is just ligaments pain, stretching of the uterus, then I'm scared of labour and contraction pains.
Used to think I have a high pain threshold, but now I'm not so sure.
I don't complain about it. I bear in silence. But during labour, would I be screaming at everybody and cursing the doctor to hell or what not? Would I cry out of anger?
Might I add that I also feel increasingly stupid the more I type now. Hahah.
And yes, I suppose all this is normal and just proves that I'm adapting to the change in my own way.
One day after lunch, Cs and I walked into mummycare again and after surveying the baby prams and cots and car seats, we turned to leave.
Then I spotted this hanging there and burst out laughing. So we bought it.
Spoiled indeed. Hope not. :)
This photo was taken last Friday night after dinner. Dress is loose hence misleading. Can't tell my baby bump at all cos the back is loose too.
OK bye. Update more next time.