Lexie is 6 months plus

I have abandoned my blog for so long.

Find me on Dayre. I update there almost every day.

Being a parent really isn't easy. A mom. I owe a huge apology to all mothers out there especially housewives. That term housewife. I had no idea what it entails. I had no idea of all the work. I had no idea period.

But now I do.

I am responsible for this little human being whom I love with all my heart. Its not easy to love her after listening to her wailing, screaming and shouting the whole day (like today) but I do. My heart hurts even when I see her crying her little heart out, tears leaking out, poor baby all tired out. Why do I love her so damn much?

I used to think housewives have it so easy. Feed baby, cook, clean house. Pfft. So much free time in between.

Yeah fucking right. 

In between feeding baby and sleep, I have no time to do anything else. Not even joking. 

My schedule these days is: 

Wake up when baby wakes up, Cs feeds her while I pump, bath baby, entertain her a while, put her to sleep, when she sleeps, I pump. Then she wakes up (nap 30 mins only whyyyyyy???). I have to lie down beside her and pretend to sleep while I give her pacifier only then she'll go back to sleep (maybe- works sometimes not all the time), Run downstairs to prepare her lunch (cook porridge with broccoli, puree it, wait for it to cool and feed her). Best case scenario is I can stand in the kitchen waiting for it to cook. Reality is me running up and down the stairs 20 times because my super bionic ears can hear her cries (where is my mommy cries). I now cook porridge at night only when she's sleeping and Cs is at home.

Err where was I? Basically repeat feed, entertain, put her to sleep. If I have time, feed myself, use the toilet, and oh yes pump. The most time consuming hated activity of all: pump. Breastmilk ftw. 

Its actually not that hard to be a mom. Its hard to be a GOOD mom.

I don't have to give her breast milk. But I want to.

I don't have to cook her own food. Buy ready made. But I want to.

I don't have to react to her cries immediately. But I need to.

I don't have to entertain her, play with her, try to read to her, engage in play time with her. But I want to.

Anyway. I'm not complaining. No way.

Despite it all, I do it willingly everyday. Every bit of it is still worth it.

Its so rewarding to see her grow and to watch her learn new skills,.I'd do it all over again.

Silly but true.

At the end of a particularly rough day (like today), I think to myself: I want to kill myself. I'm not having another baby ever! No way. 

But as I stand over her cot watching her sleep, my heart melts. Yes, I would do it all over again.

Sappy. Corny. Cliche. 

Sometimes I would look at her and think: why did it take me so long to decide to have a baby?

I could have had her in my life a long time ago. I really didn't know what I was missing out. No wonder parents stick together. I mean, birds of a feather stick together and all that. Its true. Single people won't get it. I didn't get it. Babies bore me. Baby talk - boring.

But now its all I talk about. I follow alot of mom's on Dayre. Its nice to see people going through the same phase of life as you. People who get it. :)

I guess this is an update.

Photos:

Hello. Yes, I'm mommy's princess.

Yes, that's my mommy.

She likes to put on hats and headbands for me. Hats suit me better.

Mommy also likes dressing me in dresses. Especially pink ones.

That's my daddy. I love him too.

Daddy bathes me every morning.

This was when I was about 2 months old?

There's mommy kissing me for about the 1,200th time in a day again.

This was when I was 3 months plus?

Lazy to think of captions anymore..

This is a more recent pic..probably taken last couple of weeks..

This was past 2 days. All pink, what else is new? Hahahha.

Laters yo.