Tuesday, 21 October 2014

One Month

I'm wondering how to start this post. As I'm writing this, Lexie is about 6 weeks plus. Things I have learned so far:

1) Everything everyone said is true. Motherhood is hard. You really will have no time to eat, drink, poop or breathe.

2) I hate breastfeeding with a vengeance. But I do it anyway. Sore nipples and leaky boobs. Thank God for breast pads. When Winnie came over and saw them, I went yea. They're just like period pads, except for your boobs. 

3) I hate my breast pump. But I do it anyway. :) (The smiley face shows that I'm semi joking lah)

4) I fall more and more in love with Lexie each day. I didn't foresee this though. That I would love this tiny human being with all my heart. I never thought I would be ok with so little sleep and still be able to function.

5) I still love Cs. One day, sometime in the first week or so, Cs and I were holding each other and he asked me: do u still love me? He said he was a bit worried that after baby was out, we wouldn't be the same as before, or that one of us would be neglected. I understood what he meant cos I felt that way too. My love for her is different from my love for him. Ick. So vomit inducing. Moving on.

6) There are good days and bad days. Of course. 

7) Will my jelly belly go away? I hate my body post birth. But so does everyone eh? Except maybe Gisele Bundchen, Miranda Kerr, Megan Fox and all those perfect looking people. Looking at their bikini bodies make my eyes hurt. Where is the linea nigra? Where is the flab? Hahhaha. Bitter is my middle name now. Cannot blame me. I wanna see some flab and stretch mark lines. 

8) Speaking of stretch marks, I didn't get any. Phew. I used L'occitane almond oil every night btw. Any pregnant woman wanna try as well? 

9) Why am I typing in numbers? Might as well continue now. 

10) As each day passes, I'm worried about work. How am I going to go back to work? What will I do to earn a living? Meh. Moving on. Depressing topic.

11) I miss my sleep. Cs and I take shifts at night to take care of her. I love my husband.

12) I miss going on holidays. Cs and I fantasize about going to Japan, KL, Taiwan Singapore. Anywhere. And how are we going to bring her with us. Heheh. One day soon I hope.

13) As I run downstairs to wash and sterilize bottles, my ears are straining to hear baby cries. I run back upstairs only to find her still sleeping. But it seems every time I run to the toilet, she knows. Sure to wake up at the right wrong time.

14) I still don't have the confidence to bring her out by myself. Or ourselves. Bottle feeding makes everything complicated. Sien. Not really lah but she's picky over bottles too. For a period of time one bottle works, then another, then another. So we keep running out of bottles. I finish using one and hurriedly go to wash and sterilize it. It would be so much easier if she takes milk direct from my breasts. Telling myself that breast milk is still better than no breast milk. Don't complain. Also, I have to time my outings with pumping. Did I mention I hate breastfeeding?

15) One smile makes all of it worth it though. One laugh is priceless now. Still very rare. Her smiles come and go. I love discovering all her little antics. Sleeping with her hands over her face, scrunching up her face when she cries. Swear to God even her cries sound cute on good days. Instead of panicking as I did before, I can somewhat guess what she wants now and its easier to soothe her this way.

16) I still panic when poop explosions happen though. Hahaha. Panicking cos it goes everywhere! I guess I have it easier than moms of little boys though. Their pipe goes everywhere, including on themselves.

OK. Enough chatter. Photos:

Hmm..should I have cry now or later when mommy puts me down?

She looks so tiny here. She has since outgrown that onesie already! Some clothes cannot fit. How did this happen? How time flies!

First family photo. Sorta.

Mommy, mommy! Hello? No more selfies!

 Love this photo. Little koala bear hold.

So fun watching her grow. More and more pattern these days.

Even sleeping, she never fails to amuse me. Looked over in her cot and found her sleeping like this. Why are you covering your ears baby? Daddy's singing that bad? Heheh. 

Anyway. I update more on Dayre. Almost every day. Follow me there. Download the mobile app. Much easier to update and stalk people!


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