Now it hurts

Countless times I have actually cried out loud suddenly: owww! And Cs gives me a look. I nod back at him and we continue our conversation normally. It is that common already.

Insert vain photo first since I seldom put on makeup these days.

Baby girl, you’re trying to scrape mummy’s insides raw is it? That’s what it feels like sometimes. Other times it feels like a huge wave from one side to the other (that’s when she’s turning.) Sometimes I get jabs in quick succession on one spot non stop and at another spot simultaneously. This feels like her throwing a tantrum because it must be her arms and legs flailing/kicking together. 

Her movements changed somewhat at about 29 weeks I think. It became less kicks. Mostly its rolls, squirms, and just random movements. But make no mistake, it hurts!!! 

She’s a morning person – particularly active in the mornings. Last time she quieted down after I ate something. Not now though. I had a bowl of cereal with milk this morning and a glass of honey. Moving around nonstop. So I have another slice of bread with peanut butter and a slice of cheese. She’s busy digesting the food now I expect.

I have felt the famous Braxton Hicks contractions once so far (touch wood). It happened one night as I was lying down on the bed. Felt like my stomach was contracting. If felt like a series of tight squeezes. With every squeeze I held tightly to Cs’ hands too. Scared the hell out of him. Scared the hell out of me too (am I going into labour????!!!) Think it lasted about 5 to 10 mins before I went to toilet and checked for any bleeding. Nothing. Peed and came back to bed. Miraculously it stopped. Phew. But it was only days later did I realize hey..that must have been Braxton Hicks!

These days, I commonly feel a foot lodged in my ribs or sides. The ones at the sides hurt. Last night I wanted to show Cs some songs on youtube, but baby apparently likes or hates music, I dunno. Maybe she's dancing inside. She moved nonstop to the music and I got scared. Hurriedly shut down youtube cos those movements hurt. Sorry baby..promise you can dance after you come out k?

Good hair day. Showing you my backside cos I would like to think from the back you can't tell I'm prego. Took these photos on July 13. Dad's birthday dinner at Merdeka palace. Deja vu walking past VA. All those memories good and bad hahaa. 

This photo not clear enough to show off tummy cos its a black dress. I hardly wear bodycon dresses but dunno why I felt like wearing it that day. Might as well flaunt the tummy when I can eh. Wore this to go to a buffet dinner some more. Damn regret - it was so tight after eating and I had to keep tugging the dress down cos it got shorter. 

This one much clearer. Mom got me the dress from Taiwan. Its pretty but kinda tight in my upper half. Didn't stop me from wearing them though. I'm running out of clothes to wear - I keep wearing the same ones to work. Oh well. Not long to go I hope.

I miss shopping. I would randomly open up blogshops and browse through but didn't Add to Cart la. As much as I believe in my own determination and willpower to lose all baby weight asap, who knows how long it'll take right?

Plus I heard your hips get wider after giving birth. Noo. Bra size increase ok but not ass size please. 

***

Change topic.

Just now in the lift, I met these two angmoh's. They said thank you to me when they left the lift, when all I did was press level 4 for them and hold the door open for them. I take this ride everyday, 3 times a day. Locals will most of the time: 1) ignore 2) say thank you half or less than half of the time 3) continue chatting loudly/shriek with laughter and walk out of lift still shrieking like a hyena (pest control please).

For me, I would say thank you or smile and nod my thanks if I know the person.

Its just one small example of how angmoh's are so much more politer than locals. I know not all. But majority are. I also know not all locals are like that but let's face it. Majority of Malaysians are rude. 

I hate it when people rush in from the other side when I opened the door. Especially now that I'm prego ok. You wanna knock me down issit? I can't dodge as fast as I can anymore. Rude. 

There was this elderly angmoh guy who held the door open for me. I said thank you and smiled. But his wife (I assumed she's his wife) behind him scowled at me and said: he should be opening it for me. Me: errr... not my fault eh woman. So yea polite husband and rude wife. Baffled me.

When I just went to the U.K., I learned to be more polite. Always use please and thank you. Sometimes you have to say thank you many times in a conversation. One of the stores I worked in, to open the toilet doors, customers have to ask us staff to do it. We press a button under the counter and say "pull the door please". But honestly after the 1,056th customer of the day, I just say: pull the door (no smile). Manager walking by (whisper in my ear): please! Pull the door please! 

Ish. Got reprimanded. That's just one small example.

When I came back to Kuching, it was hard to let go of all my please and thank you's immediately. I go around thanking everyone, to the amusement of my friends.

But unfortunately, after encountering so many rude people, I slowly became one of them. I lost patience and started being rude back. Because it was easier. I still say thank you but not repeatedly anymore. Lost the "please" along the way. Lost the smiles along the way too.

Its a shame though. 

Just wanted to say that after encountering those two people just now, I want to sort of reclaim it back. Make an effort to be less bitchy/rude to certain people la. If you're rude to me first then can't blame me ah.

The Road Not Taken

Found this in my Drafts as well.

*****

This morning, I went downstairs to the deli to buy myself a bottle of chocolate milk for breakfast. As I step out of the elevator, I felt like I am in a different place. Chinese New Year Songs blaring, people walking about, workers chit chatting so at ease. I even felt like I was in a different continent, almost different world. This is because I am wearing my jacket, and turtleneck. Others probably think in this weather: siao one. But in truth. It was such a difference. I feel trapped. Well not really. I chose this path myself. But this cold, freezing library that I am in feels so so different from the real world. I have spent 2 years in this library and I still cannot stop myself from feeling this way. I think it is time for a change. And soon I hope. I write this here to serve as a reminder for myself. Not as a complaint. Still, to post or not.

****

Food for thought

So, I know I haven't been updating recently. My days and nights are really full.

CNY is coming up and this means cleaning the house, cleaning out the cupboards etc etc but I'm not going to bore you with that. It also means buying new clothes (ok this I'm not complaining), and buying food and cookies and cakes to serve guests during CNY.

I think this is the first year we have really planned an "open house" since we got married. Last year, we just fook it and flew to Taiwan with my in laws. This year, we foolishly stayed behind. Hahahha.

Winnie and I spent many hours test baking cookies, and now with less than 2 weeks to go, seriously baking cookies during all our free time. Doesn't help that I'm sick, and Cs is sick. But we are both recovering now. Thanks for asking. Oh wait..you didn't. Heheh.

***

Ahh well.. I realized that quite unconsciously, I have started telling myself to snap out of it when I'm down. To scold myself. To drag myself out of the gloom immediately by thinking happy thoughs, look at Cherrie's photos cos she always makes me smile, listen to music, start dancing, anything to lift my spirits.

In the beginning, I was trying to practice The Secret (law of attraction). But now, it comes more naturally. Be thankful for everything that you have already. Feel blessed. Feel grateful everyday. I already have everything I need. All the others are extras. I am already blessed.

And somehow, I seem to think like that more naturally now. It seems that I'm the one telling people to cheer up. I'm the shamelessly happy person now. I have nothing to bitch/complain about.

Maybe I'm more easily satisfied. No, I know its not. I can bitch and whine like nobody's business. Just read my archives. But why linger on unpleasant thoughts? I'm feeling a bit stupid that it took me so long to finally get it.

Unpleasant thoughts only attract more unpleasant thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Smile. Smile all the time. Smile at everyone. Ok, maybe not those creepy guys outside the pubs at 2 am. But everyone else is fine.

Long ago, I read something on kinkybluefairy's blog. Wait lemme go search. Here it is. Click. When I read it, I was totally in awe. This girl really inspires! I commented then that I would keep it in mind and I did. I'm happy to say that compared to a year ago, I did improve.

***

OK..I'm going to blog more tonight. With photos. Must. I'll try.

Laters.

A lot of talk and no photos to show for it

My Monday

Had a really lousy day at work – the companies I pull all seem to be worse than the one before that. Headache ensued. Kept me working till 445pm. Shocker! Had no time to check mails, reply Helen and do my usual 10-minute update on FB :X Haha! I kid!

I had planned to cook spaghetti for dinner that night but when I got into Cs’ car at 5pm, I pouted and said no cooking tonight! He brought me to Pizza Hut instead. That made me smile. While having pizza, I decided we are going swimming. The last time I visited the pool was before I sprained my arm. But as soon as we stepped out of the restaurant, it rained. No, correction! It was absolutely POURING!! Thunder, lightning!! Plan thwarted.

Fine, I went to my mum’s house instead, in hopes that Cherrie could cheer me up, and talking to Winnie and mum is better than me lashing out at Cs (poor guy). But Cherrie was in a bitchy biting mood, mum was sick, and Winnie was not home! Can anything else not go wrong?! Fine! Stopped to talk to mum for a while and left mum to rest. We drove home. The closer we got to home, the less the rain. By the time we pulled up at the car park, it was dry. No rain at all. Yay for me.

So we went to brush our teeth, wash our faces and change into swimming costumes. I don’t know why but I must brush teeth and wash face as soon as I get home, and yes I insist Cs does as well. If I have fresh breath, and a clean face, the least he can do is repay the favor. J

Walked to the pool and finally best news of the day: empty pool and Jacuzzi was still on. Finally! Rinsed at the shower and quickly jumped in! Heard the sound of a car and saw a girl walking towards us, looks like our friend. It was. Veronica came for a night swim as well. Turned out she had a bad day as well and wanted to laze around in the pool too. Not 5 minutes later, Jacuzzi was off. Oh well. Cue to start swimming.

 A night swim works wonders for me. Two other friends came to join us later in the night and amidst all the jokes and laughter’s, all thoughts of Monday blues were gone.

My Tuesday

Work today was much better. Easy come, easy go. Went home and made sandwiches for dinner. Two beef patties, one hotdog, three eggs, two slices of cheese, slices of cucumber and tomatoes later, we settled down to dinner. I had the hotdog, and he had the two beef patties. I don’t fancy them much..frozen ones not my thang!

After dinner, I prepared pasta salad for my lunch the next day and for dinner as well. It is the Voice’s final episode today (Wed) (Go Juliet Simms!!) and no way am I cooking anything tonight! No sir-ee! I had planned on cleaning the house but cooking had worn me out by then. Decided to go on the treadmill instead.

But one phone call from mum changed my plans. We are going to Planet, wanna come? OK! Shower, change and voila we be sitting in the pub sipping Heineken. In the beginning, we were all sitting down but as the alcohol kicked in, Winnie and I were belting out Maroon 5’s Move like Jagger. Twice I might add. We had so much fun singing it the first time, we requested it a second time. This was in addition to many, many other songs we sang and danced to last night.

 The thing about Winnie is, she has this happy go lucky, infectious happy vibe when she drinks. She smiles at everybody, she asks pointed sexual questions, she dances all the way to the toilet and back, she requests songs to sing and pull you along with her, she learns to dance joget from the taukenio in full view of everyone, and she makes friends with the waiters, ask their names and drinks with them. This is one of the things I love about her, and I suppose many other people does as well. Happy yao? J

What was that song we sang twice too last night? I have never heard that song before. But it was so easy to sing to. Help me out here yao or Kah Ling.

Hahah Rita was trying to recall several songs last night but she could not remember the song title or artist name. She kept saying things along the lines of: the song that has the lamp or light or river in it. Hahahha funny. We all have that moments. Maybe not Winnie or Kah Ling so much. But me, definitely.



And that was my Monday and Tuesday so far.

Why is it only Wednesday?

Rant rant rant

The whole week, I have been looking forward to Damai this weekend. This Halloween, I will be at Damai Beach. I am soo looking forward to this..so much that I must admit, that I slacked off on work a bit. I find myself daydreaming and planning what to wear, what to do etc..

Its only one night. But I can't help it. Its been too long. I need a break. I want to go away..I need a break period.

I want to walk on the beach. I want to smell the sea. I want to sit on the balcony and gaze at the stars, listen to the waves. I want to sit by the seaside with cs and just lie there.

I feel so tired. Exhausted. The muscles on my neck and shoulders have been aching for so long. My back hurts. But I think I am quite used to it by now. The hot water shower is not doing me any good -who said a hot water shower will loosen the knots on your neck and shoulders? Bull.

The massage chair is not doing me any good. I find myself cringing from the pain instead - brought on by the massage chair.

I think what I need is a break. Hence, Damai.

Cs has to work on Saturday morning but I hope we can leave by noon. *Fingers crossed*

This Friday, I have to go to dinner at Borneo Convention Center. Something to do with the rebuilding of Kuching High. The sponsors or something like that. What am I going to wear?

Also, annual dinner at Pullman and after party at liquid. 80s theme? Seriously? At work, they announced that there will be competition for best dressed. I think Imma forgo this theme this time around.

Can't be bothered to dress up. I shall wear some old dress - cos I am broke too.

Life is a box of chocolates innit? I want to know what the next chocolate is. I don't want to wait. I want..I want so many things. Who doesn't?

I am jumping from topic to topic. Sorry. But oh well. Is it better this way? Sometimes I think its better if I blog about whatever the fuck I want at that time. Instead of some event/outing that happened last week etc, when I am just not.in.the.mood.

You understand, don't you?

I am talking to myself really.

Cherrie bit me. It hurts like hell. Like being burnt. My finger is numb and the blood won't stop flowing. That is why I am sitting here alone ignoring everyone. Sucksss this is making me type slowly. Perfect. My job requires me to sit in front of a computer 8 hours straight typing away.

Yes, sit 8 hours straight. Hello flabby belly and cellulite. Blah. If you ask me, I would much rather stand 8 hours straight. I am not kidding. I used to work in McD remember? That means standing 8 hours straight or more. Always more.

Same rules apply. In the office, we get one hour for lunch. At McD, we get 45 mins for break for 8 hours of work.

I prefer to stand. Call me a freak. Crazy. Whatever. But I hate not having a flat stomach and a smaller ass. And slimmer, toner thighs. Bahh!

I went to look at Kitty's photos just now and oh God, I didn't expect this. I miss London. I'm aware that I am repeating this very often. Or else saying I don't miss London but actually I do.

I said it before, if I stay clear of photos of London, I'm fine. But now, after looking at her photos of camden, london eye, I want to go back.

I'm so jealous. I want to be a student again..


Greenwich at night.





Ahh..I'm just saying. I will be fine tomorrow.

Or at least, I will be fine after payday and after Damai..

The almost rebel

It is 330am and I just got back from a party at my own place. Sounds weird right. Obviously I am referring to cs' and my new place. We had a BBQ party by the pool earlier tonight. Photos next time when I am more awake. Wee lee and I both fell asleep in the living room by about midnight while our other (better or worse in this case) halves battled it out on Wii.

Exhausted by the swimming, eating and cleaning that I wanted nothing more than to fall into bed fully dressed. Its times like these that I wish cs and I actually live there already.

All the pieces are almost in place. The kitchen cabinets should arrive within these two weeks. Deposit already paid for. Curtains for upstairs should be within these few days. The bedroom set that we ordered are coming next month after the curtains. After we finished painting the bedroom upstairs. So far all the pieces are slowly coming together.

I am glad because at times it seems like time passes so fast and yet so slow. Our friends have been over to the new place several times already and yet we have not officially moved in yet. We have not looked at any auspicious date to move in. We have not lit any fires in the house yet.

Traditional thinking? Yes. But I believe that we will gain more in the long run to be traditional at times like this. No harm doing it the old (and maybe right) way anyway..

Speaking of auspicious dates, most Chinese couples consult them for weddings as well. One of the conversation topics tonight was the wedding date: Oct 10 2010. 10/10/10. One of our friends' is getting married on that date. Supposedly its a very popular day for couples. So that means 11/11/11 next year should be popular too eh?

Oh yea I forgot to mention why I am awake still right. It is public holiday tomorrow. Hari Malaysia. Newly enacted Malaysia day this year. The first publicly declared public holiday this year! Good news indeed!

I am jumping from topic to topic now but whatever. My brain is overworked and tired. I slept 3 hours earlier only to wake up to a terrible headache. Something/someone is pounding on my temples now. Help me~ So why am I not in bed? Cos I know I cant sleep with this headache so here I am trying to wear myself out even more.

I am afraid - no make that terrified - of lying in bed and not being able to sleep. I think that is why I drink. Part of the reason. But it was definitely the main reason why I started drinking at home every night in the first place. There. I said it. Yes. I HATE that feeling. Lying in bed. Tossing and turning with my eyes wide open. Random thoughts flitting through my head. Bad bad bad.

Which begs the question. Why did I have trouble sleeping then?

Currently, I am aware that I am one of those lucky bitches who should have nothing to complain about and thus nothing to keep me awake at night. Yes I know. But on those occasional occasions when I do have things on my mind like tonight, I am reminded of those days in 2006 and 2008. The ultimate low points in my life when it all started.



I wonder was there any way I could have stopped it from happening? Probably not. To use a cliched line, I don't regret any things in my past. No really. It has really (cliched again) made me stronger. But I wonder if things had turned out differently. If I had taken the other road. If I had been well, stronger back then. How would I be today?

I have a problem with self control. My problem is, I have no self control at all. Literally. Nada. None. Yes. I admit. I am lousy. I am weak. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean. I would like to think that I am better now though. Alas. I fear not.

My brain is working over time now on really low sleep so I am being very truthful. I wonder if I will regret this in the morning. Probably not cos really..does anyone even know what I am talking about now?



I am feeling particularly rebellious now and I don't know what is bringing this on. When I am feeling like this (not very often nowadays), all I have to do is look back on those photos and think oh yea. Those were the days. And then: thank God I'm nothing like that now.

But now. I feel like........I want a tattoo again. I'll hide it from cs if I have to. No idea how - haven't worked it out how to hide it from him. I have always wanted a tattoo. No, I am not afraid of the pain. I was more afraid of the wrath of boyfriends. Yesh I am useless. To an extent lar.

My ex hated tattoos. Hated them so much that he told me he would break up with me if I had a tattoo. It was so bad that it was kinda like a phobia for him. Or worse.. He could not bring himself to even watch porn if the guy or girl had a tattoo. To him, if I had gotten myself a tattoo, it would be over between us forever cos there was no way in hell that he could bring himself to touch me..

Before him, I wanted one. Oh yes..I wanted a tattoo so bad. But I could not decide on a design. I did not want to regret it. I don't want to regret on a design. To this day I still have not made up my mind.

Back then, I wanted this:



I also could not decide on where to put it. Or how big it should be. God help me. Give me the strength to not run off to get a tatt tomorrow. Wrath of boyfriends indeed. Would cs mind now? Would he be upset? Yes and no. Yes, cos obviously I am being very irrational right now. No, cos if it was what I really wanted, he would relent in the end..

I forgot one very important person. Dad. Dear old daddy. He has a tattoo which he got when he was about 16. Which he wishes he could get rid of. So yea. Guess what he would say to me~

Surprisingly though, I actually am feeling calmer writing or venting to this blog. Right now. Cool. I have forgotten this feeling. I used to write very often when I am feeling like this. As if I have loads of pent up energy. I am feeling kind of deflated right now. Which is a good thing. Cos it means I can finally sleep..



Writing this post has made me realized that I have changed (not again Amy). No seriously. Looking back on those photos now, I was so rebellious back then. I had no purpose in life except to have fun everyday. To go out and drink every day and night. Hang out with friends, all of whom I have not kept in touch with.

If I had any regrets at all, it would be this. Sigh. Why didn't I make a better effort to keep in touch with everyone?



I was blinded by the despair I felt at that time. It seems to trivial to me now. So small. Why didn't I keep in touch? My fault and no one else. It seems so pointless and so unbelievable to me now.

Did I really felt like dying because of this? Why was I so self destructive because of this? Silly really.



I can smile now. Funny really. How trivial those problems seem to me now. How I felt so alone during those times.

I feel lighter just thinking about this. Now, I am no longer alone. Or I like to think so.

In love, I have always been the type to "dare to love, dare to fall in love. Be it one day, two days, three days, dare to love, give up everything, don't hold back - that type of girl"

But it also means that when you get heart broken - fuck this shit its ten times worse. When you give everything, you also lose everything.

But then again, isn't that the whole point of being in love? Dare to love! Give everything. Get heartbroken. Love again.

That is how I look at it anyway. With cs now, I feel safe. Secure. I know without a doubt that he is giving me everything, loving me with all that he has.

How do I know? I don't. Its a gut feeling.

If he cheat on me, how?

Like that lar. Cry, drink. Routine continues a year. I feel like getting a tattoo again.

But I will meet someone else. Life moves on~~I will love again.

The other day, cs and I were talking about this. If one of us (Choi choi touch wood) died, how would life be for the other one?

I said: I hope that I die before him. I cant imagine life without him now.

To my surprise, cs nodded and said yes, I hope so too.

Utterly disbelieved, I asked: why???

He stated: How will you live without me? I don't want you to be hurt or cry or miss me. So its better if u die first, so I will be the one sad and crying. Not you..

My heart almost stopped beating.

He said it so matter of factly that I knew it could only be true. He really does hope this will happen.

I don't care what u think but that is the most touching, romantic thing he could have said to me at that moment.

So I shall end this post with a few photos of us..









Good night. I think I can sleep now~~

Bye.

Rubbish times three

I'm too lazy to write a proper post so this will be a jumble of rubbish spewing from my brain/mouth or fingers. To put it more literally.

So here are 6 really random stuff about me. I know I'm weird. Don't judge me. Hehe.

1) I go through toothbrushes really fast. The brushes bend and go out of shape really fast. Really. I have iron teeth. No one else in the house spoil tooth brush as often as me.

2) I don't really watch movies. If given a choice, more often than not, I choose a book. Or online. Or go out. Movies rate slightly lower. Unless I am out of books, and confined to the house (i.e. grounded), then ok. Movies it is.

3) I secretly want to strangle Cherrie sometimes. Or give her away. Ok, not a secret anymore. I love her when she just woke up. No. Everyone loves her when she just woke up. Docile, tame, kwai. And so darn cute. Too bad it lasts 5 mins. Tops. After that Cherrie turns into a wildcat, lioness, an irritable, immature bitch that does not respond to anything. Her name. Food. Toys. Hits. Yes, I tried to hit her ass. Didn't work. Made her worse, even more aggressive.

If this is anything like having a baby, I'm doomed. In the future. Not now. I have no patience. But with a kid though, they might just respond to punishments. Cherrie, she has a couple of protectors. Or maybe just one.

4) I wonder why people are viewing my mambo jambo post? Did anyone link me and not let me know? Hmm...enlighten me please. Not complaining that I have visitors but I am curious.

5) I don't like cats. Not unless they have a lot of fur. I don't like dogs without a fur coat too. Such as chi hua hua. God I hate chi hua hua's. They look like aliens. ET. Mutants. Yuck! I think my hatred of chi hua hua has been driven by my hatred of my uncle's 3 pet chi hua hua in Taiwan.

I remember 3 bald tiny, noisy yapping dogs that won't shut up and try to bite me! I remember them shitting on my bed. Climbing onto my lap when I try to eat. Yea I think its cos of them. But also cos they are bald. And ugly.

6) I have lost count of how many times I have read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Seriously. When I like something, be it a book or movie, I watch/read it again and again and again. Till I get sick of it. It drives my family crazy when I pull out that VCD or DVD again.

Nobody wants to watch the DVD/VCD I chose. Cos everyone has already watched it already. Haha.

One of the little joys in life..

Books!

(This is a short nonsense post as I suppose most people would not understand why I am so excited with Enid Blyton books, of all things?!)

In the hidden shelves at his store, I found some long lost Enid Blyton books that I used to read in Primary School! Haha.. So excited. I have not seen these books since so many years ago. Who the hell reads Enid Blyton books during their free time?

Super geeks like me!



Remember those Enid Blyton books such as: St Clare series, Mallory Towers series, Famous Five, Secret Seven, Enhanted Wood, Magic Faraway Tree, Magic Wishing Chair etc etc.

Then there are the classics: Jane Eyre, Sherlock Holmes, Treasure Island, Black Beauty, Robinson Crusoe, Pride & Prejudice, Oliver Twist, etc etc...

I'm such a nerd.



Cs does not understand how books can occupy so much of my time. Ahh never mind. Nobody understands me. I'm just happy that I can read for free! Muahaha. I found the right guy! :D

I actually found some pre-school Chinese books for kids, and have err tried to study preschool Chinese books. Tried to learn to read and write. Grr.. I can only speak the language, but cant read or write Chinese. Sucks.



If anyone is interested in books/stationary products at MJC, there is only one bookstore and stationary store. Feel free to visit.


Look for this guy!

Better yet, if you are the headmaster/headmistress of a school and in need of supplies. Any teachers need a bookstore? :D



OK. Back to serious topics. I seriously need to dye my hair again! Heh heh. Yes, this is important! It makes me look bad in photos..



Short nonsense post, remember?

Bye~

One of the lazy ones..

Its Saturday! No need to work! Ehh do I sound shamelessly happy or what. Its public holiday in Malaysia. Agong's Bday. Nice..

But I am feeling lazy so this will be a rubbish post. Ramblings from the top of my head!

I have just watched a video in Facebook about how there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. Haih. Watching it made me realize that I have become one of the lazy ones. Argh! I should make more effort to put on make up everyday and night.

And risk getting bad clogged up skin from all that make up products

Whenever I look for ugly photos of myself, it is always at work. I probably look worst at work compared to any other time of the day. Work means waking up early (not one of my strong points), and running late all the time. Hence, no make up and randomly selected clothes that always look horrible.

Mum calls them my uniform. Quite ashamed sometimes but yea I admit, I have quite a few uniforms! How nice if I can have a uniform to work too. Haha. No hassle!


Before


After

Not much difference is there. Maybe I should layer on more make up still.

L'oreal has stopped producing L'oreal Pure Zone facial wash, toner, and moisturizer. In Malaysia as far as I know of. I have been searching for this series since last year when stock was rare in Kuching.

I went to KL, to various L'oreal outlets to ask. They all told me the same thing: Stopped producing. Then they tried to introduce me to other stuff. Sigh.



What am I going to do without you?

Ever since I found out that stock was rare, I have been buying the facial wash and toner everywhere I see them in Kuching. Between cs and I, we are probably responsible for cleaning out the stock in most Guardians and Watsons. Haha!

Anyway. Time to move on. I am a fan of L'oreal. The moisturizer has not been seen for quite long, so I am now using the L'real Hydrafresh Anti shine moisturizer.



Not this actually but something similar to this. Can't find the photo on google.

*shrugs* No comments on whether its good or not. I am only halfway through the first bottle/little pot. Too soon to have an opinion.

I have used the Pure Zone series for about 4-5 years, and I had no complaints. (wow that long?) Kept my skin smooth and pimple free. Btw ladies, toner is a must. Yea tell me about it. Too much hassle? Have to use cotton pad some more.

I did not use toner everyday before but my friends convinced me to use it everyday! Don't be lazy! There really is a difference though, and you get used to it over time..

I am also using L'oreal face and eye make up remover!



L'oreal fan indeed.

No complains. Remove all the waterproof mascara and black eyeliner easily.

I have yet to find an eye cream/gel that I love though. Nothing effective to get rid of dark circles etc. Except concealer. Haha! Any recommendations on eye cream/gel ladies?

One thing to rave about though: Dr G BB Cream! Charisa recommended this, despite not using it herself. She said its on the best sellers list. So, I bought it! I have been looking for a BB Cream for ages and finally got this.



I love it. Be warned though. I have not actually tried any other brands. So don't take me so literally.

I have quite oily skin, particularly around the T-Zone. I wash my face more than 2 times per day. Sometimes 3-4 times cos I can't stand the oil oozing out of my face! Even when I stay in an air conditioned room. Yes. That bad. I'm sure some colleagues have seen me washing my face in the toilet during lunch time everyday. haha!

But after using Dr G's BB Cream, coverage is good. No oily face! So nice! I have been using it for 6 months now. Wahh time flies. 5 days a week to work. So yea, qualified to give an opinion by now. Just squeeze a tiny amount. Seriously I have not made a dent in my bottle yet. It costs RM 95 (I think. Don't remember). But so worth it!

I only use this in the day time though. At night, I use other skin care products to go with make up.



So that's it for today. Going to enjoy my Saturday by...playing with Cherrie. Naughty girl is awake and biting my slippers now. Gave up and threw them to her. I have 2 minutes before she comes running again...

Bye~

Too much of something...

For those of you not in Kuching, it has been raining on and off (mostly on and very heavily) for two straight days and nights now. Some places should have been flooded by now.

While Europe is experiencing snow, we get stuck with rain. Great. We get the leftover shit. Kuching sucks. Spare me the ignorant Asian girl talk and what not.

I wonder which is more annoying? Never ending snow, or never ending rain?

THE SNOW

PROS

- It is pretty. You can't deny this. Everywhere and everything is blanketed in white. Makes everything pretty. The ugly, old and peeling paint on these apartment buildings are hidden. The bare trees and cars are all covered in white. So pretty.



- Can get to play snow sports, such as snow boarding, ice skating, skiing, building a snow man, snow castle and whatever you want.


Fun, fun, fun.

CONS

- The fucking cold! I used to hate winter, used to hate waking up in the morning, afraid to strip to take a shower, and even afraid to touch my own body when I'm naked cos my hands would be freezing. Hate bundling up, wearing layers and layers of clothing just to go out for a while. When its winter, all you want to do is stay at home to watch movie and eat! No wonder people gain weight over winter.


Haha scared you didn't I? A picture in all my fat glory. Got pimple on my chin some more. In my night gown. This photo was taken on Christmas Day itself. Case in point. Too cold, lazy to go out. Instead we stayed home to eat and drink!

- Snow storm


Pretty scary shit.

THE RAIN

PROS

- Can play in the rain and get as wet as a duck wtf. If you like playing in the rain lar. Maybe if you really have nothing to do, stay in the kampung, and your parents don't scold you when you play in the rain, then yea. Go play and sing in the rain.

- Can't think of anything good. How about wash away all the heat?

CONS

- You get wet and cold.

- Flood!!


Not fun.

I know that there are so much more things I can add to this list but I'm too lazy to think and list them down now running out of time.

Everyone hides from the rain, whereas when it snows, people don't mind as much. I mean little amounts of course.

Ever heard of the Spice Girl's song - Too Much

Too much of something is bad enough
But something's coming over me to make me wonder
Too much of nothing is just as tough
I need to know the way to feel to keep me satisfied

P/S: Is it me, or do the lyrics sound porny to you? Obviously they are referring to SEX love, right?

Back to topic. I wanted to quote this first sentence only: Too much of something is bad enough (I mean the rain and snow).

Am I making sense here? Don't care.

Bye.

Baby; real and fake

I just heard that my friend could be giving birth tonight or tomorrow. Within these few days. She should be due on the 13th. Can't wait. I'm happy and excited for her. But on hearing the news, I sense that most of us, the ones without kids were rather nervous/apprehensive albeit happy cos we had no idea what to expect. (I think lar) I had no idea what to say to her. In the end, I told her to take care and push hard. Hehe..

Some people get along really well with kids. I am not one of them. I'm scared of kids. I smile at them then quickly turn away. I don't know how to play with them let alone teach them anything. Crap. How ar?

Updates on the new house:


This is the view from the carpark. Barely enough space for Kevin ah boi to walk about.


The interior is still a mess. Right now, they are installing the switches for the lights/air con etc.. I know nothing about it; I don't understand half of what my dad is instructing Kevin..to pull this line from...to...use that line etc..

After that is done, I suppose they can start putting on the floor tiles and kitchen wall tiles. By now, four or five kitchen cupboard makers have come to measure and show their designs and have quoted their prices.

This sandwich below is from Zest (the old Blackberry or Blueberry or Best berry) at Petanak. Sorry I know I suck at providing instructions/information...


I've been telling people that this place is good. Seriously it is. Try it out! Food is good and affordable. Service is good as well. This sandwich above is called the Zest Club sandwich. Inside, you can find bacon, tuna, melted cheese, tomato, cucumber, and lettuce. Yum!! It costs RM8.90 Is that pricey? No lar. The other food are about the same price as well. And this sandwich that I ordered was among the more pricey one..


Baby has a toothache. He went to the dentist on Wed noon to have his wisdom tooth removed. It took close to 2 hours to remove it. This morning, he told me he drooled all over his pillow last night and that the drool was all blood. Poor thing. He still can't take solids yet.


I find this funny. Its like the dentist was having fun labeling these meds with Pain, then Very Pain!



Just cos there is no photo of me..


Too many birthdays recently. This is putting pressure on my jeans..This was taken in the office. Tea break?

It is the combined birthday celebration of 3 friends tomorrow. I have a feeling I might have to consume some 4,000 calories from dinner alone. Not to mention cake and alcohol later. No amount of dancing later on is going to help...

Rubbish times two

Windows Live Messenger screwed me up. I have no MSN now. Screw it. I tried downloading it. They told me to uninstall first. Uninstall I did. Then went to download again. Couldn't install. Something gone wrong. I think my computer is going down. Grr..Please keep in touch via Facebook and my blog people. For cs, time to download skype. It is the only thing still working..

Some random photos from these few days:

During lunch hour while waiting for cs to come pick me up, I saw this police bike parked beside Tun Jugah. It is routine. They come to Tun Jugah EVERY DAY to saman (write parking tickets) cars who park illegally along the yellow lines, blocking the traffic. Creating unnecessary jam. Btw, they come between 12-1230pm. Yes, I noticed. And yes, Cs has accumulated quite a few of these parking tickets. Poor thing..


My keyboard at work.


And err..my white slippers I wear walking around in the office..They are stolen from some hotel. Most probably Damai. Wait. Does Damai give free bedroom slippers? I guess not. Should be some KL hotel. Wait. Do I have enough luggage space to steal back slippers when I come back from KL? I guess not. Mum must have stolen them then.


Everyone has stolen something from hotel rooms right? Shampoo, conditioner, soap, coffee packets, bath robe, towels, slippers etc. I used to take the shampoo and conditioners for fun as a kid. I took a bath robe before, and obviously some slippers. Now, I take nothing. I don't even use the shampoo and conditioner provided at the hotels. The bathrobe was left unused in my closet and eventually thrown away.

Nowadays I don't dare steal anything. I would be a very bad criminal. The other day cs and I went to a pub and ordered one jug of Tiger beer. But the waiter forgot to bring us the check. I left the RM50 on the table top hoping they would come and take the money. Eventually it became obvious that he forgot. Even when cs and I were leaving, I was so nervous that we would get caught or be asked to stop. Or I don't know? Get beaten up for not paying the bill. Or being sent to the police. I think too much.

Realistically I know that its quite impossible that I would get beaten up or be sent to the police but I can't help going all red in the face (actually they might think its just the alcohol eh) and looking guilty...

Anyway.

This is my new bracelet: I like it. But it pales in comparison to the one below right?



This belongs to my brother, Kevin. He has this hanging from his car key yesterday. And today it was hanging on his bag.


Recently, mum is making quite a lot of something that semi-resembles this pot below:


The bottom half of the pan was mashed potato, while the top half was filled with mushrooms, corn, broccoli, squid, and prawn in some kind of white sauce. This was before she covered the entire thing in mozzarella. Baked till golden brown. Seriously, anything covered with mozzarella and baked to perfection tastes freaking delicious. I might do that to cs in the future. Cover whatever crap with cheese and feed him. He loves cheese. He even added cheese to his maggi mee (instant noodles).

If I'm lazy to cook after a day of work, I can cook white rice or maggi mee. After its cooked, I cover it in cheese to bake wtf!! Just kidding baby..